How to Handle Questions About Your Fertility Treatments

Klaus Hoffmeier

Fertility Treatments Causing You Stress?

Even the most well-meaning people can cause anxiety and stress if they ask questions about your fertility treatments. People who turn to fertility treatment can feel guilt and shame about not being able to conceive normally, and questions about the treatments or process can often be invasive. How do you deal with questions that are well-intentioned but nonetheless too personal? People don’t mean to be invasive or infringe on your privacy, but unless they’ve experienced the pain of wanting a baby but are unable to have one, they’ll never fully understand.

The most common question asked of those who are undergoing fertility treatments is “When are you going to have kids?” Rather than respond with a sarcastic remark, take a deep breath and consider how your answer would be if you were not having fertility issues. Answering that you’re not ready yet, or that you’re waiting for the best time are all answers that can be given without inciting further questions. Telling people the status of your fertility treatments is a personal choice. You can answer nonchalantly with an ambiguous response, or give them detailed information; the choice is yours.

Answering Point Blank Questions

Answering point blank questions about the progress of your treatments may be a bit more difficult to navigate. You don’t have to give anybody information that you’re uncomfortable divulging. Discuss with your partner ahead of time the amount of information you’re going to reveal; have a plan in place for your partner to rescue you if unwanted questions start coming your way. Telling people that you’re uncomfortable answering such questions is a blunt, and sometimes well received, way of responding to such questions.

No two infertility cases are alike, and treatments that worked for one may not work for another. Your friend’s infertility issues may seem similar to yours, but they can be vastly different. Their well meaning sympathy and advice may be unwanted; handling unwanted advice can be as invasive as fielding questions. People often mean to be compassionate and understanding, but their delivery rarely matches their intent. The best way to deal with these suggestions is to respond as simply as possible, and then change the topic. Or, don’t answer at all and just change the topic. Most people will get the hint.

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